White space, sweet white space

I am afraid of time. When I have it in front of me, with no boundaries that a schedule provides, I am anxious or look to fill up those spaces. I fill them up with tasks, errands, shopping, crafting, eating, napping.

Because when the hours are filled up, they're consumed with working and appointments. In those times, I'm yearning for free time. 

When I have the free time, I'm filling it up.

It's not a bad thing necessarily. I'm on-the-go. I'm interested in a multitude of things, and talented in many ways. I enjoy living out those talents.

When the I Am the Diva Challenge #155 came up last week, I did multiple versions -- unhappy with the end results of them all. 

I know the end result in Zentangle is not the point. It's the process. 

In the process, I realized that I fill every area with many different tangles that the end looks cluttered and unrelated. 

This is often how I feel like my life is: cluttered and unrelated.

This is so untrue, though. I've just been going ahead through my life without seeing the common threads and the gift that is a varied life. 

How quick I am to judge and to throw in another project to keep me from exploring the sensations within that keep me from being ok with what is right now.